"Just exactly who or what do you think you are? Wonder Woman? You're expecting a thirty-five-year-old body to perform as it did when you were twenty-one. In fact, you're copping out. You're avoiding making decisions by trying to do everything. Grow up. You don't need a doctor; you need a good verbal spanking!"
Ummmm. Wow. This is EXACTLY my problem and I received that verbal spanking when I read this quote. I realized that I am not exercising faith. I am not trusting in the Lord to help me make decisions. I am too worried that I will choose the wrong thing and so to avoid being wrong I just try to do everything. I need to put my trust in my Savior. He will put us on the path that we are supposed to travel if we let Him. I was talking to my mom a couple of weeks ago and she was trying to advise me in the process of me telling her all of the things I am planning on doing. I was justifying my over scheduling by explaining how each thing would make me a better person and help me become closer to Christ. She said something like, "Zoey, those are all really good things. But ultimately, I don't think that you will be living in the place you want to be in the eternities if you don't learn to slow down and limit yourself. Those things may all be good and help you but what will help YOU the most is if you focus on what matters the most." That hit me really, really hard. I had never thought of my constantly frantic pace as something that makes me imperfect and something that would keep me out of the kingdom with my family. I always thought that becoming perfect meant that I would gradually be able to do more, when, in reality, it only means that I will be focusing on what matters most. This was an important lesson for me today. During my first semester of college, I made Mosiah 4:27 one of my goals. It says, "
"And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order."
I have thought about this scripture a lot. This weekend the part that says "he should be diligent" stood out to me. I have always taken this to mean that I should be diligent-- don't go to the other extreme of not "running" AT ALL but maintain a constant pace. But this weekend I thought that we should also be diligent in monitoring our lives so that we don't run faster than we have strength because this is a very real temptation that can gradually lead us from our Heavenly Father and the things that matter most because we are trying to do too much at once. I know that this is something I need to work on.
So, after all of that rambling, here is my goal:
I am going to monitor myself. Instead of measuring my self worth on the number of things that I am doing, when I become too busy I am not going to cave to the pressure to add more things into my hectic life. I am going to say NO! I am going to remember that it is okay if I am not Wonder Woman! I will remind myself that I am actually becoming better by doing less. This is my goal and I am going to do it!
So, after all of that rambling, here is my goal:
I am going to monitor myself. Instead of measuring my self worth on the number of things that I am doing, when I become too busy I am not going to cave to the pressure to add more things into my hectic life. I am going to say NO! I am going to remember that it is okay if I am not Wonder Woman! I will remind myself that I am actually becoming better by doing less. This is my goal and I am going to do it!
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